Popular Posts

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Having lots of tattoos can, and usually does, indicate low self-respect. This is one of the findings of a study conducted by Liverpool University

Tattoos; what ever kind it is that you have had burned, carved, injected, or otherwise poked into your hide, be it a COMMERCIAL MEAT, SECOND GRADE, "TRAMP" STAMP , a crawly, itchy insect, some slithering, slimy reptile, a page from a "little kids" colouring book; whatever you have added to the sign that clearly reads "DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'M NOT WORTHY, LOOK,INSTEAD, AT THE GRAFFITI, CHRISTMAS TREE DECORATIONS, TRENDY FAD FASHION I have chosen to camouflage, and disguise-HIDE MYSELF with; for I have little self respect and will never reach that much sought after goal of SELF ESTEEM.
The definitions of self actualization and self-esteem have changed drastically, since the terms were first coined by Abraham Maslow. Consequently, it is now necessary to discuss the differences between self-esteem and self respect and to give explanations on esteeming anything, or respecting something.AS pointed out previously, we have changed the definition, so our culture is still mainly concerned with matters of what we now think of as self-esteem; but Maslow’s original definition ( what we now refer to as self-respect) may hold the key to achieving the peace of mind we seek. The two concepts seem very similar but the differences between them are crucial.To esteem anything is to evaluate it positively and hold it in high regard, but evaluation gets us into trouble because while we sometimes win, we also sometimes lose. To respect something, on the other hand is to accept it.I am not a very good singer, and I cannot play any musical instrument but I am not saddened by my lack of talent. I accept it. Because of this acceptance, I am able to sing, if I so choose and I am able to learn to play a musical instrument, if I so choose without being evaluative of myself or concerned with what OTHERS think.The word acceptance suggests to some that our culture does indeed deal with this idea of self-respect; after all don’t we have the concept that it is important to accept our limitations? Aren’t many of us encouraged “TO CHANGE THE THINGS WE CAN CHANGE, ACCEPT THE THINGS WE CANNOT CHANGE AND KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO?”I believe I could learn to sing better, I believe I could learn to play a musical instrument, so my acceptance is not based on my limitations. Nor is it based on resignation, since I am not resigned to the belief that I cannot sing and I am not committed to any particular belief about my voice in the future. The person who possesses what we now refer to as self respect simply likes her or himself. This self-respect is not contingent on success, because there are always failures to contend with. Neither is it a result of comparing ourselves with others, because there is always someone better. These are tactics usually employed to increase what we now refer to as Self-esteem. Self-respect, however is a given. We simply like ourselves or we don’t (Maslow’s definition of Self- Esteem). With self-respect, we like ourselves, because of who we are and not because of what we can or cannot do, do or do not look. Consider an interesting test of self-respect. If someone compliments us, what is our reaction? If we are very pleased, IT WOULD SUGGEST A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF UNCERTAINTY ABOUT OUR SKILL. Imagine that somebody, whose opinion we respect, told us that we were great at spelling three-letter words, or that our pronunciation of vowels was wonderful. Chances are we would not be moved. We know we can do it in the first case, and we don’t care in the second. Because we were not evaluating ourselves, the compliment was unimportant. The more instances in which we don’t “take the compliment,” the less vulnerable we become to evaluation and insult. Compared to those with what we now call HIGH SELF-ESTEEM who are still caught in an evaluation framework, those with self-respect are less prone to blame, guilt, paranoia, regret, lies, secrets, and stress Many people worry whether there is life after death. Just think about it: if we give up self-evaluation, we could have more life before death. © Al (Alex,Alexander) D. Girvan. All rights reserved.

No comments:

Post a Comment