We
now know the answer is a resounding "No."
Until recently, when we heard the
words sexual predator, an image of a dirty old man, dressed in a trench coat,
lurking around an elementary school appeared in our minds. Today, with ever
increasing frequency, we have learned our mistake-or have we?
Sexual predators occupy various
positions in our local communities. They have been identified as: authors, babysitters, brothers, celebrities, church leaders, camp counsellors,
day care workers, editors, entertainers, boy scout leaders, youth ministers, photographers, police officers, priests, sisters, social workers, school
bus drivers, teachers, and foster
parents. These individuals have often been welcomed in our homes. They are both men and women.
In the media, sexual predators are commonly
referred to as child molesters and paedophiles. However, not all predators are
paedophiles and not all paedophiles are
predators. Officially, a paedophile is an individual who is
sexually attracted to children; OR, a
very much younger person. If
this person does not act out his sexual preference, he is not characterized as
a child molester; nor, is he or she, generally, characterized as
a sexual predator. The
reverse is also true.
Unlike a paedophile, a, purely, sex
predator will generally enter into a relationship or have sex with an adult-at
least late teen, but for some reason, fantasizes (sees) themselves as having sex
with a mere child.
A child molester is an individual who
sexually molests a child, for reasons such as availability, curiosity, or a way
to hurt the loved one of a molested child.
There has been a dramatic
increase in the recognition of SEX PREDATORS and the filing of lawsuits against
churches, schools and youth groups by victims of sexual molestation in response
to abuse perpetrated by SEXUAL PREDATORS. Therefore, it has become increasingly
important for individuals involved in church, charitable and educational
endeavours, as well as attorneys and claims handlers, and, of course, SOMETIMES
parents, to become familiar with the profile of a sexual predator.
Words,
Typical of a Sexual Predator;
I had been single for several
agonizing, long days, months, on occasion it will be years; when, in what can only be described as a winning hand in
the luck of the draw, I managed to meet the person/man/woman of my dreams (at least at and for the present). It was an entirely unexpected encounter.
He or she had placed an ad in a “SINGLES column; on
a dating site,(rarely do predators use social medial such as Facebook) and, I
responded, of course, using an alias. Shyness, not MODESTY compelled me, to do
so.
At the same time I was repeating, to myself, that
old cliché “give your head a shake” this woman looks to be in her teens,
twenties, thirties. Although I knew that I was old enough to be her father,
when she mentioned being a mother/grandmother- a legitimate and rational status
for a “dirty old man” (cliché) like me-time TO COLLECT MY TROPHY-I moved in for
the KILL.
The
Typical Sexual Predator is Very
Immature,
in his or her understanding of
intimacy. It is like they really want closeness, but they lack the skills and are too self centred to
feel satisfaction and trust. These feelings of frustration erupt into anger
many times, and it is in this stage that the individual can become dangerous.
Their acts are desperate. They try to find intimacy and caring for themselves,
but when they can't find it in appropriate ways, then, through a feeling of
"entitlement" they seek a gold digging, bimbo,
with or without a brain-you know the type, desperately hungry for material wealth, they go gaga over what they perceive as
being "celebrity" status or social standing-a CHILD IMAGE who has little, or no, resistance to a
little bragging and/or-prudent name
dropping.
It
is Common to Find Parents of the
Child Image
also weak in skills of affection.
Consequently, they cannot train or offer to meet these needs for their child.
And then the cycle often continues, generation after generation. To make
things even more interesting, more often than some people like to believe, the supposed victim is also a predator-a dragon.
There
Exist Some Other Common Characteristics, Among Sexual Predators-look for these
warning signs as well:
1. Frequent shot term relationships;
or marriages of three to
twelve years.
2. Frequent moves from one area of
the country or even from one country to another.
3. A need boast or brag about years
of experience and/or to exaggerate qualifications..
4. A desperate need for social
recognition.
5. Refusal to take responsibility
for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures.
6. A sense of entitlement.
7. Low self-worth-very likely to
employ an alias, or such cosmetic items as; unusual clothing, excessive
decoration or ornamentation (jewellery), iridescent hair colour, sun tans, or tattoos, to avoid exposing themselves-the self.
8. Need for power, control and above
all social recognition-but, will, often, CLAIM shyness-not modesty.
9. Lack of empathy, unforgiving and
an inability to form lasting, loving, intimate relationships.
10. Sometimes, (not as common as once
thought), a history of having been sexually or otherwise; abused.
11. Troubled childhood-early
delinquency or onset of sexual activity and other, deviant sexual
behaviour and/or attitude.
Common Attributes of Sexual
Predators:
Predators are notoriously friendly, nice, kind, engaging and likeable.
Predators target their victims, often insinuating themselves into that
person's life through their family, school, house of worship, sports, and
hobbies.
Predators are professional con artists and are experts at getting other
people/families to trust them.
Predators will smile at you, look you right
in the eye, shake your hand, and make you believe they are entirely trustworthy
©Al
(Alex, Alexander) D. Girvan. All rights reserved
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